Little Girl.....Never Forget Her Face.....

Sure miss you so much today mom! Needed some advice and there was no one to ask. Yeah, I coulda asked her....but it just isn't the same as asking you...I miss you so much.

I will always love you....

Little girl don't you forget her face
Laughing away your tears
When she was the one who felt all the pain

Little girl never forget her eyes
Keep them alive inside
I promise to try -- it's not the same

Keep your head held high -- ride like the wind
Never look behind, life isn't fair
That's what you said, so I try not to care

Little girl don't run away so fast
I think you forgot to kiss -- kiss her goodbye

Will she see me cry when I stumble and fall
Does she hear my voice in the night when I call
Wipe away all your tears, it's gonna be all right

I fought to be so strong, I guess you knew
I was afraid you'd go away, too

Little girl you've got to forget the past
And learn to forgive me
I promise to try -- but it feels like a lie

Don't let memory play games with your mind
She's a faded smile frozen in time
I'm still hanging on -- but I'm doing it wrong

Can't kiss her goodbye -- but I promise to try...

Missin My Mom....

Today is a hard day for me. One of my mom's friends called looking for her today. She had no idea that mom had died. Of course she wanted to know the whole sorted story. So you retell it and relive it all over again in your mind.

My father bought my mom the most expensive casket you could get. My mom loved pink. The whole inside was pink. Her casket was metal with metalic silver painting with pink flecks in the topcoat of the paint and gold endcaps with painted roses adorning the outside. It had a weatherproof seal, so it was waterproof and worm proof...which I pointed out to dad that mom would so appreciate as she didn't like bugs and spiders or dust so much.

This picture is her sitting in the Rockvale Cemetary in her fancy expensive little metal box waiting to go into the ground. (Cuz that's what they put you in.. a little metal or wood box. That's what you end up with if you are one of the lucky ones in this world....) 80 years worth of living and you are left with a whole bunch of junk in a square you call a house. You get a small box and they put you in it in the dirt. It was hard for me to walk away and leave here there, even though I know she is not really there. I don't like the cold and I am scared of the dark (don't tell my children).....and she would be alone there all by herself...and it was so cold that day...it just didn't seem like the right thing to do....it still doesn't...

I miss her so much.....*sigh*